Eating Disorder Awareness Week just flew by and I was really busy working but I have a lot to say about it. Through all of my young adulthood I dealt with eating disorders. Before anyone gets worked up about this post I want to say I’m not writing this for attention, pity or personal gain, but because I know people struggle with this more than anyone realizes.
My eating disorder came out of left field when I was 19 years old. That’s the weirdest part of it all, how fast it happens and how fast you lose control. It started out with just eating less junk and trying to change my lifestyle, but quickly evolved into eating a couple handfuls of goldfish crackers, maybe some mentos, and an arnold palmer a day. Some days nothing at all. If you’ve been through this you know the euphoric feeling of seeing the numbers on the scale go down every day. I ended up losing about 45 pounds in less than 5 months.
After starving myself for about a year I also started purging the small amounts of food that I would allow myself to eat. My health was deteriorating and I felt cold and tired almost all of the time. Things like this are very easy to hide when you want to hide them.
Within the past couple years I’ve been recovering. I’ve seen doctors, talked to specialists and gained real control over my life and body. I guess I just want to post this because I feel like not enough people feel comfortable talking about things like this. I didn’t have many people I could talk to while I was going through it and some of the people I did have didn’t really seem to want to hear it.
My eating disorder will always be a part of me, and I will have health problems from it for as long as I live. There are going to be days that I still struggle with everything, pick myself apart and feel hopeless, but other days I’m so happy with who I am. Today is that kind of day, and I wanted to share that feeling.
HOMIES! LOVE URSELF AND LOVE UR BODY BECAUSE YOU ONLY GET ONE SO DON’T SCREW IT UP TRYNA BE WHO U AIN’T
(I know a lot of my friends follow me on this and you probably didn’t know, or you did and were kind enough to not say anything but hey surprise, we’re even closer now)